This blog post may have errors, misspelled words and all the grammatical errors you can think of, however, I thought I would tell you a little story of the post happenings and events of posting my last blog, 'My Calling to Pain.' Here is my raw, very fresh testimony of my calling to pain in the midst of the fog.
It was on Tuesday, I'm at my parents house, helping out my Mom as she just arrived home from surgery. As she sat in her reclined chair, I wrote the words that came to my heart about being in what I call 'The Fog'. As you can see in my prior post, I wrote about how you can sit in total peace and happiness, but in a second your world flips upside down and you're clear view of your path becomes blinded by the thick scary fog. Bottom line, you should read my last blog. I posted my blog and went on my way. Suddenly as I was helping care for my Mom, who seemed to have a flawless surgery, with no complications, it began. The fog fell around me in a blink of an eye. My Dad yelling to start rushing her to the emergency room, kids panicking (I have much younger siblings), my phone is blowing up and every little thing that could have happened at that moment happened. Chaos and confusion stormed in and I was left standing with empty hands and a spell of stress. It was everything I wrote about, it was all that it seemed.
It's funny how God works sometimes... I can't help but look back at this week and ask the questions of "What the heck?!", "Why?!" and "How did this happen and how did I get here?" However, God was faithful. He was able and moved in like the waves of the sea. He didn't stop, He didn't leave me hanging and He provided. Yes, it could have been so much worse. Yes, there is still a long road to recovery, but God provided light in my darkness. He helped me and my family through our valley of the shadow of death. He carried us. I saw His power through simple text messages and groups of people coming together as the body of believers in prayer. People gave food, hugs and time. My amazing Mother In-law blessed me by coming over and just being there and being a Mom when I needed one at my breaking point. He worked through my wonderful husband and so many others. I'm humbled and so grateful for everyone.
Through this experience, I could not have done it alone. Christ gave me a supernatural strength. He calmed my fears and gave me comfort. If you're going through 'The Fog', don't give up. Be brave. Run and cling to the cross. Ask for help. Except help.
Psalm 23 //
The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
3 He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.